I've decided I'm closing this journal.

But fear not!

I've just moved. lywellyn is my new journal. I've added a few of the friends I had on here (ones that I like keeping tabs on, or updated often). Feel absolutely free (in fact, it's strongly encouraged) to add that new journal and remove this one.

See you in the Vortex!

As you may or may not know, my girlfriend has optic nerve atrophy.  As a result, she has a declining vision problem, which eventually will lead to total blindness.

In addition to this, she has a migraine-plus level headache 24 hours a day.  She takes a restricted pain medication to remedy this....but as with any pain medication, the body's natural tolerance buildup will eventually render the medication ineffective.  At this point, the doctors have told her that there's nothing more they can do.

I have seen how she is when the meds do a fluke once in a while (where she takes the med, but it seems to do nothing for just that once) and I have to take her to the hospital for a shot to kill the headache.  She cries relentlessly, sometimes screaming at the pain.  Moving her causes pain.  NOT moving her causes pain.

She can't live like that.  Since the medication going ineffective is an inevitability, I ask you all this:  IS there anything that can be done?  We've thought of hospital residency, but she doesn't think that Ohio Medicaid will cover it.  She can't live at home with no medication, either.  The doctors will likely not give her any stronger medication, but even if they did, eventually that would wear off too.

What can we do about this?  Is there anything that can be done?

I'm pretty damn sure I have what's called sleep apnea, and for those of you that aren't learned, it's this:  When I go to bed at night, sometimes I'll stop breathing completely, which then my body essentially wakes itself so I can resume breathing.  Sometimes it wakes me completely, other times it more or less moves me from what could be a deep sleep to a lighter sleep without actually consciously waking me up.  This causes me to not always get the best of sleep.

On top of that, I'm literally sleeping on the living room floor.  I snore, so my girlfriend and I can't sleep together (she can't sleep beside me if I'm snoring.)  She's got the bed because otherwise, she'd be sleeping on the couch.  I decided she could have the bed for the duration of her not feeling good or otherwise being sick (which I'm wondering how much longer THAT'S gonna be...).  So since I can't sleep comfortably on the couch (it's not long enough), I don't have an air mattress (yet), I'm stuck sleeping on the living room floor.  Which adds to the whole "I don't sleep well at night" issue.

And because I don't sleep well, I find I'm tired throughout the day.  That's what happens.  Sometimes I'll fall asleep at random times:  While I'm playing a game, while I'm sitting down, even while I'm talking to someone.  If I'm tired enough, I'll actually fall asleep.  I've done this to my girlfriend quite a few times (I'll be lying on her and fall asleep, or talking to her and fall asleep, etc.)  And yes, I know that's rude, even if I can't help it sometimes.

But now that I'm trying my hardest to work on it.....I just went into the bedroom to ask if she wanted to do something.  She asks if I want to watch a movie with her.  Sounds good.  "But don't lay on me, it's uncomfortable" (first I knew) "...and don't fall asleep while we're watching it."

Our first argument comes because I either have to have back support for extended periods of sitting down, or I have to lay down.  She takes up most of one half of our queen size bed (She said "Why can't you sit at the foot of the bed on my side?"  No back support whatsoever.), and the other half is completely taken up by her stuff (she's been camped out in that room for a good month or so).

I told her I can't sit beside her because there's no room with her stuff, and I can't sit at the foot of her side cuz I won't have support.  If she doesn't want me to lay on her, I can lay across the foot of the bed (convenient, I'd be directly facing the TV.)  Then she starts in on me about how I'll fall asleep, etc.  I know the past few times she's asked me not to fall asleep, I haven't.  Hell, I even did it last night when she was depressed and needed me to lay with her.  But she's pretty much dead set that if I lied down, I'd fall asleep.  I even promised her I wouldn't...not good enough, apparently.

So feeling insulted, I left the room and pretty much cooped myself up in here until I go to bed.  I don't want to hear any more of it.  I heard her close the door to the bedroom, too.  I don't care at this point how pissed she is.  She gets all mad when I've "insulted" her, but I'm not allowed to be equally as mad when I'm feeling insulted?  I don't think so.

I try and try and try so hard, but seems like the littlest thing will make her angry, and she instantly forgets anything else that I *have* done.

*sigh*

Ohio State rules the field once again!  Eat turf, Michigan! :D

'nuff said.

Giving credit to antigonist for the majority of my userpics I now have.  I love this one the most.  It makes me giggle. XD

Join my Least I Could Do Team!

Pleeeease? Join m'team and you could potentially win stuff!

Simply posting to wish lassarina a very happy birthday!

It's also my birthday, and going with her post, as of 5:28 PM Eastern Daylight Time, I will be 23. Yippee. :p

Anyone on my friends list can now text message me. So feel free.

But remember what my cell phone says: I have limited text messaging, so don't go crazy with me!

If there is someone on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the Internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.